PriyanshPotter: I find myself agreeing with you on the whipped part of my story. As a male, I have always felt that I was slightly whipped whenever I was in a relationship. Often times all my girlfriend would need to do to convince me to do something was give me this pouty look and I caved like a stack of cards in a stiff breeze. Still, what you said has merit, and I will do my best not to have to the 'whipped male' comedic subplot in this story.
Now, while I do agree with you on the issue of men being whipped in my story, I believe you are thinking too short term when complaining about how my plot is not moving forward.
Everything I have in this story is there for a reason. For example, Selene's presence here might not 'seem' all that important right now, but she will eventually play a major roll in the story and the information I have given you on vampires through her will become incredibly important to a subplot that will intricately tie itself into the main plot in one of the later books. Book five, I think. What I am doing right now may not be important for anything in Book two, this book, but I am setting up the plot for future events in my later books.
I know what you might say. You're probably going to tell me that I should save this information for book five then. However, there is a problem with that.
First off, this is the only time I could reasonably introduce Selene's character. I needed her to be introduced before the Fourth book, but I could not do it during the Third book because of how that book will pan out. In the Third book, Harry does not leave England and will be dealing with Sirius Blacks escape. The second book was the only place I could properly introduce Selene and develop her character.
Another thing you need to realize is that I can't fit all of the information I need to give into one book. What Selene has told Harry about vampires so far is only basic, bare bones information. It's enough to satiate his curiosity for the moment, but there is so much more to the vampire race that he does not know. I could probably write over 60,000 words describing the vampire race alone. That's the length of a short novel.
Would you like an information dump that long when I write my fifth book? I doubt it.
Finally, you must also understand that I am not just telling you a story. JK Rowling told a story, and anything that did not have to do with her story was essentially discarded as useless information. I am building you a world, so I want to give you as much detail as possible about this world so that you can properly visualize it. To me, this is the difference between epic works like Harry Potter vs. Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings was WAY more detailed about the world the characters lived in than Harry Potter despite only being three books.
If you take nothing else from this long winded lecture, please remember this: everything you have read so far is there for a reason. Selene's presence is there for a reason (she plays a pivotal role in events to come). The scenes between her and Harry where Selene tells him about vampires is there for a reason (they are important later on). The small moments of erotic fluff are there for a reason (character development anyone?). Everything I have put into this story so far is there to either foreshadow future events in the later books (any time Harry and Selene are together), or set up the plot for events in this book when Harry finally gets to Hogwarts (Neville's and Harry's birthday party).
If you want another example of foreshadowing events in order to move the plot forward that is closer to home, how about this. Did you know that Lucius Malfoy slipped Tom Riddle's Diary into Ginny's book bag because he wanted to discredit Arthur Weasley who was trying to advocate Muggleborn rights? In chapter 5 I show a scene between Harry, Lisa, Tracey and her parents where Harry learns that Arthur Weasley is trying to make an appeal to the Wizengamot to give Muggleborns more freedom and make a discreet mention of Lucius Malfoy trying to block it.
Consequently, I also have Harry learn that he has not been getting his mail in that same scene. Funny how these things work out.
That, my friend, is moving the plot forward. It might not be as obvious as 'MORGANA'S LARGE SAGGY TITS THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED AND THERE IS A MONSTER IN THE CASTLE THAT COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE A SNAKE OF SOME KIND BECAUSE SALAZAR SLYTHERIN ISN'T KNOWN AS THE MOST INFAMOUS PARSELMOUTH THE WORLD OVER FOR NO REASON AND IT'S NOT LIKE HIS HOUSE ANIMAL BEING A SNAKE IS SOME KIND OF SYMBOLIC CLUE AS TO WHAT THE MONSTER MIGHT BE WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?' but then, I like to be more subtle than JK Rowling when revealing some of my plot.
acrazysmile: Harry does not like relying on others. I am sure you've noticed by now, but he has an independent streak the size of China. He only asks for help when it is absolutely necessary for him to do so in order to further his goals, like when he asks for Andromeda's help to teach him pureblood traditions and etiquette. As his... premature puberty issues are a personal problem, he will not ask anyone for help.
stealacandy: I changed the time Hogwarts was built to better match some of the information JK Rowling gave us. She claimed that Merlin had belonged to Slytherin house, but Merlin had been born in the early late fifth, early sixth century, which means he was born around 500 years before Hogwarts. I wanted that information to be more accurate, so I changed the time Hogwarts was built.
Corneille: Mu~ you make it sound like I'm a review whore, which I am, but still... in either event, I wasn't really complaining so much as curious. Before chapter 6 I did not have a chapter whose review count went below 160. I just wanted to know why chapter 6 only had 90 reviews instead. You have to admit it's a big difference.
Laloonay: You do what you feel you have to do. I am disappointed to see you go, but I can't stop you from not reading. Of course, I find it amusing that you are calling Selene an adult woman. I believe I mentioned this before, but Selene is only 14 years old. That is 2 years older than Harry. It's not a large age difference. My dad is over 8 years older than my mom, and my grandpa is, like, 12 years older than my grandma, who he married when she was 14, which would mean that at 26 my grandfather married a 14 year old girl. If you think a two year age gap is large and that a 14 year old girl teasing a 12 year old with very minor seduction is wrong, I would hate to hear your thoughts on the real world where men marry women who are 8 or more years younger than them.
I also find it funny that you have an inordinate amount of slash in your favorites list, which is a far more controversial topic than a 14 year old girl doing what is essentially a stronger version of mild flirting to a 12 year old boy, yet you find my story to be filled with inappropriate sexual content. Just saying.
Eewek: Chaos would happen, that's what. I imagine that scenario going one of two ways. Either all three would end up violently killing each other, though Selene may survive, or they would all come to an agreement to seduce Harry together and he would probably die of dehydration.
narutoDkurosaki: For moving the plot forward, I can only tell you to read the explanation I gave to PriyanshPotter. For the rest, I am going to reveal a great revelation to you. One that will shock you into oblivion and rend the very foundations of reality around your ears.
My story is not about Harry Potter's time at Hogwarts. In fact, were it not for the fact that Harry wanted to form connections and make allies with people his age so that he could have a power block when he graduated from Hogwarts, he would have never gone to Hogwarts in the first place. He would have simply hired tutors to teach him everything they could about magic.
This story is about Harry Potter's journey through the wizarding world and what he does to leave his mark on it. Hogwarts is merely there because of the aforementioned reason above. It is not needed for the plot. And everything that happens at Hogwarts, like the incident with the Philosopher's Stone, the Chamber of Secrets being opened and the Tri-wizard tournament in his fourth year, are only there because they happened in the original novels. I base my story around JK Rowlings original plot, but they are not the plot for MY story.
Burmeind: To the first, I can only mention my response to PriyanshPotter's review. To the second, I can tell you that these are question he normally would have asked, but currently has so much on his plate that he just hasn't thought about them.
I mean, just look at what's going on in his life. Currently, Harry is leading a double life. He is literally going back in time just so he can learn from Nicolas Flamel while staving off suspicion about why he's disappeared for two whole months and so he can continue to spend time with Lisa. He is also dealing with someone trying to steal his mail while keeping in touch with his witch and wizard friends, a vampire princess who is not only a wellspring of knowledge on vampires and their culture, but is also hitting on him, and to top it off, his body is responding to her advances and he doesn't have a single clue as to why. Tell me, if you had all this happening to you, would you be wondering 'gee, I wonder how an Italian Vampire ended up here in Paris?'.
Also, I think you are forgetting something when you mentioned how Harry just 'happens' to be there when the Vatican hired Mercenaries are going to kill Selene and rescues her. ALL stories start off with an unusual set of coincidences that pushes the story forward. Gandalf just happened to visit Bilbo Baggins and just happened to set him off on a journey where he would just happened to face off against a dragon and just happened to find the one ring to rule them all which just happened to have previously been in the possession of Golem who he just happened to run into. It's all a set of coincidences that would have never happened in real life, but happen in these stories because they NEED to happen in order for the plot to move forward.
Why don't we take a look at JK Rowling's Harry Potter and see what conveniently just HAPPENS, shall we?
The Philosopher's Stone just HAPPENS to be at Hogwarts during Harry's first year because Voldemort just HAPPENED to possess Quirell that summer and just HAPPENED to try and steal it from Nicolas Flamel who fearing the Stone would be taken from him just HAPPENED to give it to Dumbledore for safe keeping who just HAPPENS to decide the stone would be safe at Hogwarts. Unusual set of coincidences, no?
How about second year? The Chamber of Secrets just HAPPENS to open in his second because Arthur Weasley just HAPPENED to decide that he wanted to advocate Muggleborn rights that year and Lucius just HAPPENED to slip Tom Riddle's diary into Ginny's cauldron because of it.
Not enough coincidences? What about third year? Sirius Black just HAPPENS to escape Azkaban in Harry's third year because he just HAPPENED to see a photo of Peter Pettigrew in his rat form with the Weasley's when they took a picture in Egypt which they just HAPPENED to win a trip to. Oh, and let's not forget, Sirius only HAPPENED to see that photo because Minister Fudge just HAPPENED to be paying him a visit for some reason that was never explained to us and just HAPPENED to have a newspaper which just HAPPENED to have that image which just so HAPPENED was conveniently turned to that page so Sirius could just HAPPEN to see the photo of rat Pettigrew and realize that Peter Pettigrew just HAPPENED to be living in the Gryffindor common room which just so HAPPENS to be where his godson resides when attending Hogwarts.
Do you see where I'm going with this? Harry Potter is filled with things that just HAPPEN conveniently, for no reason, against all odds. It's called the 'series of strange and unusual set of coincidences and or circumstances' plot device. In case you haven't noticed, JK Rowling is a master at those.
As for your third issue, that will actually be addressed in the next chapter. I won't say anything more though. Don't want to spoil the surprise.
Thank you for being honest. I actually enjoy it when people give me reviews like you did.
adrian11: I am glad you mentioned giving Harry more enemies. As a matter of fact, while I don't think other people have guessed it yet, but part of the reason I introduced Selene's character was because Harry is going to have more than one antagonistic group. He won't just be fighting Death Eaters and Voldemort, but also Vampires and possibly other magical creatures.
Of course, Voldemort and his merry band of raping, pillaging purebloods are going to be his biggest enemies, their are more people out there who would probably try to take a piece out of the Boy-Who-Lived.
Daemaniac: Perhaps you can elucidate why you feel this story is becoming sexist. I don't really understand how you can think that, but maybe you see something I don't.
Black Element: All I'm going to say is that some things require experience, and that knowledge coming from books is not a good substitute for experience.
DanielHimura: No, her parents are not purebloods. Pureblood vampires are defined as 'Vampires that are born of two other vampires'. This means that Selene does not have to be born of two Pureblood vampires, just vampires in general, meaning she could be born to two dhampyrs and still be a pureblood.
Now then, all of this being said, it seems a number of you are only interested in what happens at Hogwarts. For those of you who skipped the parts with Selene and Lisa, all I can say is don't come crying to me when the fifth book comes out and you're left scratching your head and your ass like some kind of caveman going 'huh?' because you don't know what's happening. I said it before and I'll say it again, everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING that has happened so far in this book is important to the main plot because the main plot IS NOT Harry Potter goes to Hogwarts, it's Harry Potter makes his impact on the wizarding world. Not Hogwarts, the WORLD. Nothing in these past few chapters were placed there for shits and giggles.
For those of you who did read through these chapters, putting up with my inordinate amount of details and slogging through insensate amounts of 'soft core porn' which is apparently what we call flirting now, I salute you, and am pleased to inform you that the wait is nearly over. I have, I think, two more chapters to go before Harry goes back to Hogwarts. The only thing left for me to do is tie up some loose ends to Harry's summer, give a bit more information, throw a few monkey wrenches into Harry's life and just in general see how I can screw with our favorite 12 year old wizard.