Saturday, October 18, 2014

Ashikabi no Shinobi, Chapter 37

Aiden Kennedy: I've decided to use this instead of your blog because I don't know how to leave a question there. Are you going to deal with Higa before you end this story since he wants to get rid of Naruto? Please answer this question in your next chapter and UPDATE SOON!

Answer: Yes. I will be dealing with Higa, probably within the next chapter or two, in fact. All of the loose ends to this story will be tied up and dealt with before the end.


Alviam099: If I say what I would like to say here, I would probably build up a rant.


You're a good writer. Honestly, I would never be able to match that, considering I only occasionally 'try' to write.

Your story contradicts itself. For all the build up with Naruto's remembrance of his daughter over all the story, turns out that he never cares for them at all. You even went as far as making Greek mythology's goddesses his daughters. For what? There's no reason for that at all.

You also occasionally forget the most basic details. I suggest you reread things(uh, this is for all your fic, Devil Ninja most prominent).

And don't forget to check your own stories as you write them, some details written is confusing.

Naruto's immortality, I guess you wanted it to be dramatic and awesome like with Kur0Kishi's Unwavering Sky. I don't think you quite managed it. Reading it, I was like, 'Eh? Was that supposed to be it?'
Shame on you.

To be honest it seems I ranted for a bit.
And to be frank, I will still read your fics, with their abundance of content and honestly, you're one of the notable author in the Naruto section. I'll read your fic, just for that reason alone.
But still, your writing just doesn't do it for me anymore. I think it already has reach the level of being stale.

Answer: I'll not deny that my story has many contradictions. In that, you are correct. I should have been more careful, but I think because I changed my plans halfway through the story, I just screwed things up. However, I do take offense to you stating that Naruto never cared for his daughters. He does, and there was a reason for me making the Goddesses from Greek mythology his daughters. Several in fact. The first was to let people realize just how old Naruto really is. It's one thing to say "I'm thousands of years old" it's quite another to have proof of lineage. The second reason is even simpler. I'm tying Naruto into the various mythologies. In some ways, you can think of Naruto has the Rikudou Sennin of this time. Just like how the ninja world came about as a result of the Rikudou Sennin's actions, Naruto's actions have brought about the various mythos around the world. It was done to show you how his presence has impacted the world.

Tango Charlie: I cant say I really liked this chapter.

Naruto foming such a strong rel. with Kazehana in just ONE chapter kinda went over my head. I dont know, maybe its just me, but this lemon just didnt have the effect that the one with Musubi did. Each and every other Sekirei of Naruto's could have been better appreciated in this chapter. 

Kazehana seems really 'forced' for some reason. She has basically had just some mentions in the previous chapters, and now Naruto takes her on a date, and scores? Even before Tsukiyumi or Akitsu? That didnt go down with me.

Still, a well written and well detailed chapter. Will be patiently waiting for the next one!

Answer: I understand where you're coming from. It does seem to have happened very quickly, but that was actually done on purpose. Think of it like this, until now, Naruto has never been the one to really initiate a winging. It's always been something that was more or less pushed on him. However, with Kazehana, HE was the one who initiated the romance between them. This chapter was done to show how Naruto is finally getting over his hang ups about being intimate with Sekirei. Naruto's wooing of Kazehana was done in a single chapter to show you that he's no longer being held down by the past.

Albert da Snake: AWESOME CHAPTER AND LEMON! YOU AWESOME AUTHOR, YOU! But about the fertility thing is it canon or you added it to the story?

Answer: It is not canon. It's just something I added to the story so I didn't have to worry about protected sex. :P

ddzhalev: Hey,

First of all. great work on your stories so far. The more of them I read, the more convinced I am that you are among the Top 3 authors on this site. I especially like this story as it brings together two of my favorite titles - Naruto and Sekirei. The fact that your stories are heavily character oriented, rather than just fight scenes and lemons, is also a big plus. 

Now, on to the newest chapter. Honestly, I thought it was pretty good but maybe a little too focused on Kazehana. While it's good that she got more time "on screen", I felt that making a chapter focused so much on Naruto's interaction with only one other character doesn't really go with the flow of the story, at least in the last few chapters. 

For the story as a whole, I would very much like to see a little bit more about the training he gives to the other Sekirei. Also, you mentioned a while back that there are only several more chapters to this story, but I honestly can't think of an ending that won't feel rushed if you end the fanfic so soon. (This point has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I'd like to enjoy this fic more, honest!)

That's pretty much what I have so far, but if I think of something else I'll write again.

On a side note, I bought your book from Amazon and while I just started reading it, I'm very much enjoying it so far. When can we expect the sequel? (I really hate waiting for books, chapters, episodes, etc.)

Best wishes and keep up the good work,
D.

P.S. I'm not an author or anything, so I apologize if you find anything I wrote (or the fact that I wrote at all) offensive, but I just thought I'd share my opinion as a fan. Cheers!

Answer: While I understand where you're coming from, I think you need to realize that my story has never been about the Sekirei Plan. It's about Naruto and his journey towards healing. If this regard, the Climax has already happened. When Naruto and Musubi made love for the first time, when Naruto accepted Musubi into his heart, THAT was the climax of this story. The rest of the story is merely a tying up of loose ends to reach a satisfactory conclusion. There are simply so many loose ends that need to be tied up that it takes a few chapter.

And thank you, I'm glad you've been enjoying my story thus far. The second book should be out soon.