Saturday, August 23, 2014

Ashikabi no Shinobi, chapter 35

The Lord of Shadow: I feel like I should mention that the sage of six paths created Ninshu not Ninjutsu. Ninjutsu came after Ninshu. 

Just saying though. 

Also, I'm really loving the story. You don't make naruto super ultra strong right away killing everyone who comes against him. You made naruto smart and logical. He doesn't immediately go super sayain 29 and destroy the world and create it again using his Jesus powers, you make him plan things out and keep his power a secret. 

And that's why I love this story, and hope you update soon.

Answer: I am aware that Hagaromo is not the creator of Ninjutsu. However, until he made an appearance in the recent manga, everyone had been told that he WAS the founder of the ninja world and creator of all ninjutsu. Because I am not ascribing to the canon timeline in Naruto, a good portion of what happened in the manga (Naruto meeting Hagaromo, Kaguya being the apparent real threat, etc.) never happened, so Naruto doesn't actually know that Hagaromo created Ninshu and not Ninjutsu.

Grey vs Ale: It actually hit me when Naruto proved his immortality by ripping out his own heart. Sure I was skeptic at first, but the proof along with hearing his tales of the past. Yeah it stung in a good way though, especially with the reactions everyone had to him. I am kinda wondering if Heracles was a child of Naruto. Enjoyed the chapter.

Answer: Yes, Heracles is indeed a child of Naruto's, as are Artemis, Athena, Apollo, and a number of other past figures who the people of those times thought were gods.

fresh prince1: two things, one, is it possible for him to break the connection between them, and second, are your blog updates gonna be on the same schedule or is that gonna change to?

Answer: Alright. First off, awesome profile name. Fresh prince1. Love it. Now then, to answer your questions in order: Naruto could probably find a way to break the connection if he wanted, but he's not really a scientist. He only SEEMS smart because he's live for a really long time, but in all truth, Naruto's kind of an idiot. It was subtle enough that I think most people missed it, but none of Naruto's plans in this story have ever gone off without a hitch except for one. As to your second question, no, my blog post schedule will not change. I'll update my blog every weekend at least once a week.

AzureStorms: Interesting chapter all things considered, but seemed a bit dry. The reactions to the story by the other characters was a bit meh. The reaction to the "proof" was quite entertaining though.

Answer: Yeah, maybe their reaction wasn't that big, but then, how do you think they should have reacted? Let's face it, if someone came up to you and said "I'm an immortal ninja who has godlike powers." you'd probably be like "bitch please. Show me the proof." right? That's more or less what happened here. Everyone around him was too skeptical to really give a definite reaction to what they learned. At least until Naruto ripped his own heart out.

MWRANDOM: Didn't actually notice any glaring errors. It was an OK chapter (too much recapping of cannon Naruto to be an excellent one). The reactions to Naruto's life and the conversation with Homura were the high points of the story and were done quite well. Good work.

Answer: I personally agree with you. I don't much like recapping canon. However, in this instance, it was kind of necessary. If there is one thing I've learned it's that not everyone who reads my stories knows the canon for one of the anime I write for. In fact, some of the people who read this story only started reading it because they finished my HP stories and enjoyed them enough to start reading this one, but they've never read or watched Naruto. I add the canon mostly for them, but also because it would read awkwardly if you were to just cut that section out.

DarkPirateKing69: despite trying to put Naruto's individual thoughts into it.. you were pretty much just reciting canon verbatim. so it was fairly tedious to try and read it word for word. you could have condensed it and added more interaction. 

so i skimmed over evertyhing pre-Madara without feeling bad about it. would have been different if there was more reactions and discussion between, which i'm used to while reading chapters like this, but you decided to do it this way, so yeah. felt like you just wanted to get the word count high enough for this chapter.

pretty sure you knew all that by yourself too, but i decided to give my own opinion about it anyway.

everything after that was very satisfying to read though. there was enough of 'shock and awe' that i almost forgot about the first half of the chapter.

Homura was really obsinate and repetitive about the whole immortality thing though, so that was mildly annoying. especially after that rather convincing demonstration.. but i've seen Homura dorn this way before, so it was a minor thing

so.. he destroyed destroyed 'Atlanta', huh?.. well, i guess that's impressive.. but maybe you meant 'Atlantis' in this case _

but you have your reasons for the small mistakes, so should stop here.. i'm too tired to begin with, not sure how this review sounded. well, anyway.. nothing i say is ever a personal insult towards the author. there are ony my thoughts about the chapter as a reader.

looking forward to the next update, regardless of when it comes out. ciao

Answer: The canon reciting was actually for the benefit of people who don't know a thing about Naruto but still read this story because they enjoy my writing. I know several people who, after reading my Harry Potter fanfics, moved over to this one just because they enjoyed my writing so much, but they don't know a thing about Naruto. It was meant to be skimmable if you are already familiar with the series, but provide necessary background information if you aren't.

Can you blame her? How would you feel if the person you suddenly found yourself bound to told you they were immortal, had lived for several thousand years, posed as various gods throughout history, and fucked a good portion of the human population? You'd probably freak out, right? Homura simply wasn't able to deal with that kind of knowledge as well as the others because she's a bit of a history buff, and what he told her flew in the face of everything she knew.

And no. I definitely meant Atlanta. XD

Arafell: His teasing of Homura seems exactly what an immortal, world weary Naruto would do XD

Also, seriously? slept with his daughters? Talk about a class act, no matter what your justifications .

Answer: Yeah, it's kinda gross, sleeping with your own kin, but you have to remember that Naruto can't really be considered human anymore, and I don't mean that in a "he's an alien or some supernatural creature" kind of way, I'm talking about the way he thinks. Naruto is a broken individual who has long since discarded any and all sense of morality that we humans ascribe to. Genocide, incest, fratricide. These concepts mean nothing to him. If he wants to kill off an entire population of human being, he'll do it and won't bat an eyelash. By that same token, if he wants to have sex with his daughters, he'll do it, because he really doesn't care. This Naruto is one of the most amoral people you will ever read about in my stories.

AiSard: Huh, good luck with the job hunting.
That said, this chapter is super rough.. I was really looking forward to the history lesson as well, ah well.
The first half was skim skim skim, did not understand why you felt the need to rehash the entire Naruto story. From the reader's perspective its a boring rehash, but more importantly, in-story the characters are pelted with a billion little pieces of detail that don't mean anything to them and are actually irrelevant. The shift in perspective halfway through story-time (3rd to 1st person?) was also really jarring, in part because it seems like we're getting the memory that Naruto is suddenly daydreaming about while he's actually explaining it to the harem, not helped by the shifts back to 3rd person when the harem reacts to this explanation we are not actually hearing.. if that makes sense..
Naruto ripping his heart out to prove a point was also pretty.. stupid. Why?... It's.. not even proving the same point he's trying to make.. I get that he was trying to prove that he's immortal, but there are many forms of immortality. He's mainly trying to prove his broken Longevity, but instead goes to prove his healing rate/unkillable-ness, relying on shock and horror so no-one would ask any questions.. Which was followed by some conversation I felt was a tad weird, if only in how Naruto was acting, like he was lecturing everyone? I havn't pinpointed what irks me so much but it felt very much like a "yes, I've explained this already. Really, really? another question? fine Homura, and put your hand down already" kind of thing, which felt really weird to me, more than could be waived away by the psychopath thing atleast.
The last bit was the only part I mildly liked, if only for Homura's confession thing :P but it really drove home how bad Naruto is at giving explanations of any sort, something I was looking forward to becoming a chore to go through. The type of explanation where you're actually telling a story that only tangentially covers the topics that your audience is interested in, in which clarifications and questions are either shot down or spawn yet another story that is only part way relevant.
I have been enjoying this fic, but at times the quality goes up and down some. Anyways, good luck with the job hunt and novel writing :)

Answer: The first half wasn't for you, or anyone who follows the Naruto series. I wrote that for people who read my fanfics DESPITE having never picked up the Naruto manga or watched the anime. It was WRITTEN for people who knew about Naruto canon to skim without missing anything too important, but give enough details so that people who don't know a thing about Naruto some more background information.

Yes it is. I know you don't think so, but showing someone that you can regenerate your own heart is pretty much the same as saying "I'm immortal." It's also the only way he can prove it. How do you think he's going to prove his longevity? Having them cut him open and count the rings? He's not a tree. There are very few ways to actually prove that someone is immortal, and while ripping out your own heart might not be the best way, he didn't have many other options.