Sunday, December 21, 2014

Ashikabi no Shinobi, Chapter 39

SilverBladeStar: You are a great writer, very talented. Your fight and sex scenes are top-notch. One of your few flaws is that when you do great, long, complex fic like this one, you have trouble keeping you own details straight. It seems like sometimes you can't remember some of the things you have written.

Answer: Sad but true. I won't deny that I do have the occasional problem remembering something that happened in a story. The problem isn't that my fics are long and complex, but more that I'm just writing for so many stories that my facts get mixed up and jumbled together. It's difficult writing 9 fanfics at the same time, add in my original stories and you've got some serious problems.

anon1: Nice chapter. There were some minor grammatical errors but nothing too noticeable. The only glaring mistake was when you referred to Yukari as 'Yukari Sendo' whom is a character from an entirely different anime/manga, RosarioVampire, instead of Yuarki Sahashi which is her actually name. Other than that, wonderful job. Looking forward to the surprise and an update on any of your stories.

Answer: Thank you for catching that. While I would love to claim that I never make mistakes when writing, the truth is I do, I make quite a few mistakes, in fact, and it's impossible for me to catch all of them.

Nope: The sex scenes - they are awful. Also, if Matsu is not wearing panties how could Naruto have taken them off? Blergh, this fic could be an awesome study in the field of psychology, you know? Someone could write a nice paper on unfulfilled dreams and sexual desires.

Answer: If you don't like my story then how come you've read 39 chapters of it? Seriously dude, it's okay if you dislike my stories, but if you're still reading this after 39 chapters, then you've clearly got issues. Are you sure I'm the one who has unfulfilled dreams and sexual desires? Because it seems to me like this is the other way around.

DraconisVladisDrake: 'Death by sentai pose' 
Kudos to making me laugh my ass off.

I also liked the mixing of the plots with the Jinki and the Shinju. It does make me wonder about how your going to handle the relationship of the Jinki and the Sekirei?

I also like the hint at Naruto thinking of using the Jinki to give his Sekirei immortality. With all the changes to his personality I was afraid you had just gotten tired of his attitude and were trying to change him at the cost of the plot.

I would like to see some of his insecurities reappear intermittently when the plot allows, in order to show that he is human and make the story more believable. But I understand that it is difficult to make an 'organic' transition in personality that isn't 'forced', I look forward to seeing how you handle it.

I admit to being a little disappointed in the lack of attention Tsukiumi is getting, but I understand a lot is happening quickly and your trying to balance going to fast in the story and skipping important things, or going to slowly and making the reader loose interest.

Also I think Homura is feeling a little like a seventh wheel here, I'd like to see some kind of interaction between him/her and Naruto.

I also liked the 'Surprise' Minaka has coming up soon, it has felt like things are too easy for the protagonist and the lack of proper challenge does detract from the story. I liked how you smoothly inserted a new challenge with an action that is very 'Minaka like' and feels right. It is far too often that I see fan fictions 'bend' characters away from their established personalities and it was nice to see Minaka act in character and deal with the threat Naruto poses in a way that the original character would have done.

overall I rate this chapter a 9/10 the only reason I didn't give it a 9.5 was because the story is going a little fast and could stand to have certain interactions expounded upon. But overall very well done, I look forward to your special 'Surprise' in the Author Notes.

Answer: It is indeed difficult to make such a strong reversal in personality like this. Part of the reason I had Naruto struggle so much is so that his shift from angsty brooding jerk to somewhat decent human being felt a bit more natural. I had Naruto fight against his bonds constantly, always lamenting the past, until a catalyst (Musubi's death) forced him to acknowledge those bonds and allow for further development, however, even I'll admit that it's incredibly difficult.

Don't worry. Tsukiumi's time is coming. I have something special planned for her wedding night. It just takes some time and preparation. XD

ABitterPill: I have a question. Naruto has demonstrated incredible regeneration and has shown he can regrow his heart and stated he can regrow his head. So if he were bisected straight down the middle, would both halves regenerate and thus end up with two Narutos?

Answer: An excellent question, and the answer is no, the two halves would not regrow into two separate Narutos. The way I see it, Naruto only has one soul, therefore, there can only ever be one Naruto (not including clones) in the universe. You can't split the soul in two... unless you were to go the evil Naruto segregation route (which isn't happening), so if Naruto were separated into halves, only one part, his torso, would regenerate, while the other remained inert.

Guest: i like the story,
but why you make yume will merge with musubi?
i think, it will be better if naruto find a way to give yume a body.
so she can join into harem.

hope my review will not slowing down your update.
anyway, this story is very good . so i will wait for next update.

Answer: The reason I'm having Yume and Musubi merge is for several reasons. First: No one else has done it before, at least no one that I know of. Second, I only have room for 8 Sekirei in Naruto's harem: Akitsu, Kazehana, Homura, Matsu, Miya, Musubi, Tsukiuimi and Kusano. That's already Sekirei, so Naruto's harem is all filled up.

Digitize27: amn, Akitsu seems to have taken a bit of a backseat lately. Still, good chapter that definitely justifies the waiting _

Answer: It's unfortunate, but sometimes, certain characters are often delegated to the background. Because of how quiet Akitsu often is, it's difficult to give her a prominent position as a foreground character who's always given time in the spotlight. I'll try to give her some more time to shine.

DarkPirateKing97: are you SURE you haven't read gabriel blessing's In Flight? last time i asked was pretty long time ago.. one of the 'Gift of Memories' chapters had In Flight in the title.

i mean the whole scene with Yukari calling Naruto and asking for 'life counseling'.. or maybe she was like that in canon (it HAS been a while)? and the whole thing with Musubi riding the protagonist while he's not aware of it at first thing seems eerily familiar too.

i don't know.. maybe great minds just think alike. doesn't make this any less awesome, but it's just something that started to nagging my mind while reading.

Answer: I have not read any of Gabriel Blessing's stories. I tried reading A Hill of Swords once, but couldn't get past the first chapter because it was written in 1st person and at the time I did not like reading 1st person POVs. I'll probably get around to reading his stories at some point, because I've heard nothing but good things about his writing, but it won't be until after this is finished. If there are any similarities between his story and my own, it's just a coincidence. Oh! And if you're curious, I actually got the idea of "life counseling" from the anime OreImo (My Little Sister Can't be This Cute).

NarutoDKurosaki: So a new chapter and this fic is at its end and I would really like to see your hypothesis in this fic about the jinki where they grow into a primordial god.
The next thing is your thoughts about the last chapter of naruto manga how did you like it? And as for your surprise is it the sequel to the harry potter fic of yours or an entirely new fic

Answer: To be perfectly honest, I'm not really into canon Naruto anymore, so my thoughts are sort of, bleh, in a way. There's a lot about the story I didn't like, some things I did like. I do admit that I think Kishi managed to end his story nicely... except for Gaara's hair, but my opinions are sort of, meh.