Saturday, January 31, 2015

Devil Ninja, Chapter 12

Knight of elves: Didn't he send a clone to explain who he fought against so that they my be able to track him down?

Thanks for the chapter :) had fun reading it, good job and keep it up. I can't wait for more!

Answer: No, Naruto didn't send a clone to inform his friends of what was happening. He left that up to Asia.

YellowFlash44: As always love your work, i have to wonder why Khaos Brigade would even bother with Naruto? I mean he is just a middle class devil who has had just one victory. Not to mention that he is a part of a peerage, it seems a bit unlikely that they would take someone who is a part of an ordinary peerage. Also how did no one know he was in a fight, i mean surely the barrier wasn't that good that know one could tell he was fighting? I do hope we find out what is going on with Naruto next chapter? Anyway awesome story really enjoying just about everything so far, good luck in future.

Answer: Isn't it obvious? You remember the conversation that Sirzechs had with Naruto and Rias at the ending of chapter 10, right? Sirzechs exact words were:

"Now that you two know this, there is something else important that I need to tell you." Naruto and Rias were snapped out of their thoughts and looked at Sirzechs. "From this moment on, I want you two to be very careful. Word about your power has spread to all the Devils in the Underworld, and if they know about you, then others are bound to find out sooner or later. There have been rumors of Devils with strong powers disappearing in the human world recently, so I want you two to watch yourselves."
From this, you should be able to infer the reason that the Khaos Brigade has kidnapped Naruto.

Plums: Half of this chapter was a continuation of the fight from the previous chapter, which felt really disappointing. 

Rest of it felt wrong, as I personally saw this as a "Naruto in DXD universe" story, and I'd have hoped all the stuff with the stolen swords you've been hinting at coming next would simply just be skipped. Too many perspectives that weren't Naruto, and I'd think since Naruto isn't around, then we don't need to see it. True it builds... something up, but I'm not sure if it helped the story out overall or not, as I had to struggle to not skip ahead through it all.

Answer: Normally, I would agree with you, if I didn't plan on making a number of extremely AU changes. I plan on using the canon as a guideline, so while some things will be canon compliant, the rest will not. There will be several major shifts in the coming chapters that, while they may not seem like much at first, will cause major shifts in the original DxD storyline. Since you've been reading this for so long, I would like to ask that you trust my judgement on this matter. I like to think that I'm not the type of person who would let people down by writing something superfluous and unneeded.

ChaosRune: Great chapter, I really liked the fight at the beginning, it was very well done. Also, kudos on how you removed Naruto from the scene to make sure he doesnt interfere with canon anymore, this is the most original way I have seen somebody use to keep canon to happen just like in the original material no matter what. 

Answer: Not interfere with canon anymore? I suppose it does seem that way, however, while it may look like that's what I'm doing, it actually couldn't be farther from the truth. Naruto's kidnapping is going to change canon far more than if he stuck around with the Gremory group during this arc. There are going to be a number of significant changes that happen not just with Rias and friends, but with Naruto as well. It's like I said before, this is the starting point for the creation of some of my own arcs.

Joe Lawyer: After Naruto broke free of the command of the sword, he should have immediately killed his attacker in that first moment of surprise and took that guy out of the equation. A kunai to the heart and it would have been over, with only one enemy left. It was the perfect opportunity. There is just too much attack, often a pretty ineffective punch/kick in terms of lasting damage, wait for a bit while chatting, then recommencing of the fight when it could have likely been over if he’d actually acted like the ninja he claims to be and just finished the fight as quickly and ruthlessly as possible. He could have alternately played a long for a bit then when the guy’s back was turned to slit his throat from ear. That’s also being a ninja.

“I’m a ninja. We don’t care about being unfair.” – I completely agree, now he just needs to act like he really believes that and take opportunities as they present themselves. Sneak attacks and deception and killing while your enemy’s back is turned and his guard down is exactly the kind of things he needs to do…what ninjas do. I really think epic battles are the sign of bad ninjaing…when you haven’t tried hard enough.

Why was this 2 on 1? Why wasn’t it 30 Narutos to 2 of them with Naruto’s ability to create shadow clones? Several could have been teaming up and distracting his enemies the entire time and prevented them from teaming up on him effectively, or outright killing them.

Why is he always talking about “kicking asses?” Can he not even talk about killing his enemies in his threats? Why does he have to sound so juvenile? He’s the self-proclaimed best ninja in the world yet can’t even make effective threats of death.

Rias and her peerage don’t need to be working to recover Naruto alone. Since non-devils were the ones who attacked him, Rias could easily bring the matter to her brother’s attention and get his help in figuring out what happened. Sirzechs and his entire peerage of ultra strong devils would likely be a great help. It’s a bit silly that this is seemingly never even considered in-chapter.

Koneko and Ravel talking about their “love” for Naruto was an interesting result of this forced separation. Perhaps that is a good thing long-term.

I knew the chances of that fight early in the chapter being won by Naruto was extremely low, but part of that really feels like Naruto’s fault, like he just doesn't have what it takes to fight like a ninja who actually wants to win.

Answer: Are you reading the same story that I'm writing? Because whenever you write reviews like this, it seems to me that you're reading a completely different story. In case you've forgotten, Naruto does NOT like killing. He never kills unless he has to, ever. It is not in his nature to kill. Why else would be not kill Sasuke after having several hundred chances in canon? In fact, if you look at Naruto's ninja career from a canonical standpoint, he has not killed anyone. Even Kakazu, who received a Rasenshuriken to the face, was killed by Kakashi in the end. This is one of Naruto's achilles heels. He doesn't like to kill. He refuses to kill unless it's absolutely necessary, and I have made his stance on killing very clear in one of my earlier chapters. Is that the right thing to do? I think that's up for debate. However, IT IS a very Naruto thing to do. So, if you're looking for an OC Naruto who mercilessly murders people without any regard for the loss of life, then you should look somewhere else.

TeninChwang: You lost me with this chapter. It's what loses me in a lot out fanfiction these days.

The Rasenshuriken's only purpose is to kill.

Naruto landed several hits on his enemies without killing them.

If they harm Asia he'll 'beat them up'?

Is he even trying to win? Or are these characters just protected by plot armour and can't die, leaving us with pointless and redundant fight scenes?

Couple that with Koneko going OOC because you couldn't keep her in character while expressing her feelings and wildly varying and I'll advised tonal shifts...


Answer: I want to laugh at everything you just said. Rasenshuriken's purpose is to kill? When has Naruto EVER killed someone with the Rasenshuriken? Never, that's when. Even Kakazu survived the Rasenshuriken when he was hit with it. Kakashi is actually the one who killed Kakazu by using the Raikiri on him. Naruto has never once killed another person in canon. And Koneko going OOC? You clearly haven't read the light novels, where she makes a complete 180 degree change after the arc where the Gremory group faces off against Sona's peerage in a Rating Game. Please read the light novels before making ignorant statements like that.

0 Jordino 0: ...Ofcourse. Honestly, this is getting annoying now.

You seem to forget that Naruto in his base-form can move so fast he breaks the sound barrier. As for no long-ranged attacks - you also seem to forget that upon getting his boost from Hagoromo he gained and instinctive knowledge of how to use all the elements.

And ofcourse, you also forgot to include his sensing abilities in Sage Mode. Seriously, nerf nerf nerf. That's a constant thing in this fic.

Everyone says making a character OP takes the fun out of a story, well so does nerfing the shit out of them.

Answer: I'm somehow not surprised you would write something like this. You like to make characters more powerful than they really are. I don't blame you, but if that's what you're looking for, then you really should stop reading my story. Naruto has never broken the sound barrier in base form. Ever. I have never once seen him breaking the sound barrier in canon, except when he has entered his chakra shroud. You seem to not understand how speed works. Mach 1, or the speed of sound, basically equates to traveling at 340 meters in a single second. If you look at Naruto's base stats, his speed is marked as 3.2 in part 3, while Sasuke Uchiha's speed is marked at 4.5. Now, I do not really know what this means in relation to how fast a person is going, however, based on how I have never once seen this "speed of sound" ability that you speak of in canon, I am going to say it doesn't exist.


  1. You do realize you tried to counter with his stats from the beginning of shippuden right?

    As for him breaking the sound barrier. Well, yes he does do that in the final few chapters. He kicks off so hard a mach cone surrounds his body. Unless I've got that wrong, that's breaking the sound barrier.

    And I don't mind reading a story where Naruto grows into his power. I prefer those actually so I think you've got me confused with somebody else. No, this still dates back to a question I asked way back near the start of this fic.

    He had no chakra, thus no power. I get that, what I still don't get is he was below his previous level upon getting his chakra back, no matter how minuscule the amount was. He should still have been at that level albeit a bit rusty with a severe time-limit on how long he could fight.

    Not to mention your Naruto was AU and then you kinda just threw him into the canon-Naruto template for the war.

    ...Also, in the chapter 13 you posted you were talking about Kurama having 9 tails instead of 10. Might wanna fix that.

    1. Those stats I gave are from the final stats given in the Naruto Wiki. There are no other stats available, leading me to believe they are his base stats.

      That's not him breaking the sound barrier. That's the manga trying to show you that Naruto is just really, really fast. Just so you know, EVERY Shonen manga where a character is super-fast uses this technique to show off how fast they are. It's not that Naruto is traveling at mach speeds; it's that Naruto is going really fast and this is their way of showing it. Mach 1 is 390 meters per second. Not minute. Not hour. Per second. No manga that I have ever seen has someone who can travel that fast. The only characters I know capable of something like that is Flash from DC comics, and his speed is so OP its stupid.

      At an estimate, I would say that Naruto's fastest speed is probably 100 miles per hour if he travels in a straight line from point A to point B, which is about 44 meters per second. That is nowhere close to mach speeds.

      And what do you mean below his previous level? Naruto was fighting on par with two ultimate-class beings at the same time, and one of them was wielding a holy sword, which he is weak against due to being a devil.

      And Naruto has never been completely AU. I've always kept his personality mostly intact. He's a little smarter than he used to be, a little more mature, but he still enjoys acting like a goofball more often than not because it's fun. When he's not dealing with major issues or trying to push peoples buttons, Naruto can be just as serious as anyone. He simply hasn't had a reason to be truly serious in a while, which should tell you about his disposition towards his thoughts on how threatening he feels Arthur and Kuroka are.

      And I already fixed that issue. I'm still used to writing about Kurama having nine tails that it slipped my fingers, but I corrected it about an hour after posting the chapter.

  2. 100mph? Seriously? The movies can hardly be called canon, but he does outrun a train while carrying an adult woman. I'd think at shippuden he'd be atleast twice as fast as that.

    And the mach speed, that's my bad I was wrong on that one. That was me getting all confused because of the amount shit Fairy Tail Dragon Slayer posts all over the place. So I apologize for that. I can't even see a fic without one of his many fanboys posting is facts everywhere.

    And AU in the regards of the Water Blades and the talk of Tsunade grooming him for the Hokage position. He was an AU Naruto at that point and you fit him into the War Template.

    We'll have to agree to disagree on the power levels though. Because, having read most of the Light Novel, I find them lacking unless its the likes of Ophis and Great Red.